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Home Cap'n Outfit Comet Reference Uchuu Eats Outfit

Combo #1: Earth Burgers

Written by Nemo

• Location

At the end of the day, which was like most other days of their new life among the stars, Souly and Comet found themselves on the curb outside of some no-name space restaurant. Souly set her Uchuu Eats bag beside her onto the pavement and let out a groan as she allowed herself a full-body stretch."Jeez… it’s finally over.”Comet let out a grunt as he fiddled with a ferret-sized pack of cigarettes and a space-lighter. (“The difference,” Comet said to Souly, “is that it uses a power cell and plasma, not some podunk combustible fuel and a spark. What do you take me for, a caveman?”)The skies overhead—or would it be better to describe what yawned overhead as open space?—were quiet, with nary a UFO or spaceship to be seen. And this part of space, the most boring sector of the most boring fringe of the most boring spiral arm of what was already a pretty boring galaxy, didn’t really see much traffic, especially compared to the core systems. Some months ago, when she had first made her way to this far-off corner of the galaxy, running away from Earth and all her bad memories, Souly would have paused to marvel at the endless expanse of twinkling stars and all they promised.She could only imagine the opportunities waiting for her. Out there, in the endless cosmos, there were literally millions of worlds to see and explore. On each of those worlds were even more new aliens to meet and befriend, new stories to be had and experiences to have. Souly could look up at that sky, full of that wide-eyed hope and think to herself ‘I’m gonna get out there and be all that I can be!’Of course, that was before her ship blew up, and before she had to become a gig worker just to stay afloat. Her work as an Uchuu Eats driver—shift after shift picking up weird alien food and having to deal with space apps on her space phone, and of course the customers, who could forget them?—had slowly but surely drained her of much of that optimism.This evening, when she looked up, all she did was sigh.“Ugh, my feet are killing me.”Comet didn’t look surprised as he rolled his eyes.“Stop your whining and get those space-sneakers already.”He gestured towards her shoes. He spoke with annoyance and a confidence of a conversation being picked up from where they had last left off.“Those Earth-shoes you’re wearing won’t cut it out here.”In the same vein, Souly frowned immediately, picking up from where she left off as well.“Ehh…” Souly glanced down at her shoes. “I kinda like my shoes, though…”“I get it.” Comet nodded. “A transplant like you is bound to get homesick. Like I always say…”He ignored the way Souly rolled her eyes and kept on talking. “The sooner you pull the bandage off, the better. It’s easier to just let the bad feelings go and get on with your life.” He paused for dramatic effect. “It would do you a lotta good, y’know.”The pause lasted for a few more moments as Souly studied the smug look her partner gave her. It was a familiar expression to see on Comet’s face, and it was as annoying as ever.“I’m not homesick!” Souly’s voice was heated, sharper than her normal pleasant cadence. The little ferret seemed to have struck a nerve, and it took her a moment to consider what to say next.“I haven’t found a pair I like yet. That’s all.”“I’m not your boss, but you keep this up and they’ll have to chop your feet off.” Comet had a nasty look on his face now, like he was trying to scare her with a ghost story.“It’s fine, they’ll use a laser saw. Instant and mostly painless. Then you won’t need to worry about shoes ever again.”“Yeah, yeah.” Souly waved off his gory little anecdote with a shrug of her shoulders. “I don’t have time to worry about that. I lost all my stuff after the Uchuu Mafia blew up my ship because of your gambling debts, you know!”Comet recoiled as if stung; it seemed he had a sense of shame, after all.“Can we stop rehashing stuff that already happened? Besides, you were the one who was all excited about that space-spring sale at the mall.You were bothering my ass about it all the time last month!” Comet sounded particularly indignant as he jabbed a finger at her.“Yeah, I was excited… but I had no time for that. You’ve been with me the entire time, Comet… you know how busy I’ve been.” Comet’s indignation faded a little as the ferret-like alien looked away from Souly’s accusatory glare. “Or have you been sleeping this whole time!?”“I plead the fifth… you’ve got those freakishly long biped legs, you know. My people evolved to be ambush predators, don’tcha know.” Comet’s smug attitude rebounded a little.“And besides we took plenty of breaks. Don’t you love to go on and on about how on your world, humans evolved as persistence hunters? Endurance and all that?” He waved one paw lazily.“You should still have plenty of stamina to look at a few webpages on the cosmonet.”“Yeah… but…” Souly, a little embarrassed in the face of all the things that Comet had said, looked away. “I gotta do my dailies, though…”Space Grand Order was pretty old as g*cha games went, so it didn’t really have much in the way of quality-of-life features that the new titles did, but it was one of those many little comforts that Souly tried to hold onto in the face of the daily grind… it reminded her of home quite a bit.“Sure, sure.” Comet shook his head. “Kids these days…”
She didn’t even want to dignify that with a response.“Ugh, I don’t wanna go home yet.” Souly groused. Her annoyed tone was a little put-on as she took the lull in conversation as an opportunity to shift the topic.“There’s nothing to eat in the fridge anyways.” Her annoyance seemed to slide off her face as she looked up. She glanced at Comet, a conspiratorial look suddenly crossing her features.“What do you think? Should we go on a grocery run, or do we save ourselves the trouble and get something now?”The little ferret-like alien made a loud huff of annoyance.“What, you want me to be your conscience? The little space-cricket on your shoulder?” He grumbled, turning away as soon as he spotted Souly’s sly look. It did not do nearly as much to add to his image of the ‘sainted sufferer’ as he thought it did; Comet was not exactly good at the ‘moral superiority’ thing, or so Souly had found.“Tch! You already know what I’m gonna say, so go on, take us to the food court!”

• ch2

• Location

Thankfully for Souly, the food court was only a few minutes away—a block down the street and up an escalator back into the mall.
Asteroid Springs was a decent-sized town and was blessed with a decent-sized mall, and any decent-sized mall had a food court worthy of the name.It wasn’t all that different from home—sure, the neon signs were written in different languages (while Souly knew more than a few of the local languages, including the widely used Galactic Standard, she quietly thanked whatever space-God was out there for the wonders of translator apps with camera functionality) and so were the posters, but there was a similar sort of energy as people went by on their days, filtering through restaurants and stalls, chatting and laughing as they looked for something to eat.The anguish of service workers, Souly noted as she spotted another Uchuu Eats driver lounging outside a space-donut stall, also seemed to be universal wherever she went.
As she passed by, she gave them a nod, from one comrade in the trenches to another. She had never seen them before, but she recognized the look on their faces all too well.They returned it with all three of their heads—a shared moment of esprit de corps in the depths of hell—before glancing back at the counter (and the other two on their space-phone) as they waited for their order.Before Souly could launch some internal monologue on the plight of the common worker out in the far arm of the Milky Way Galaxy and how such unfairness could (and should) be corrected, she wrinkled her nose a little. She had caught a whiff of something frying a few stalls down, where an octopus-looking fellow was operating a dozen pans at once.Souly watched them for a moment as they pulled out little creatures on skewers, handing them out to the small crowd that had gathered around her. It wasn’t bad, it was just… weird.Space-weird. Space… different?It was the biggest drawback of all this food for her and Comet to peruse. Much of what she could find here wasn’t exactly her kind of cuisine. She’d been told it was an acquired taste, and yeah, sometimes that’s how it was, but every time she bit into a space-kelp steak or slurped up a space-krill smoothie, she realized she had some new normal to learn about and to fit into, or at least pretend to like just as long as she could manage until she needed to go to a toilet and blow chunks.Or was it space-chunks?In any case, the vast majority of space-food that appealed to her was actually mostly edible, thankfully, but… every time she sat down to try something new, she had that same realization; it seemed that people did things really differently out here among the stars.Souly was reminded of that as she stared at a ramen bar. It was bustling, with customers and servers moving to and fro. The sound of people slurping up their noodles and happy conversation was accompanied by the smell of some meat-based broth cooking. These smells, at least, were mostly palatable!Before she could turn to Comet and suggest they try their luck here, she spotted some movement at one of the nearby tables. Inside, behind the glass, was a happy family.
Or at least she hoped it was a happy family.
Two crab-looking aliens were circling around a table smothered in little crab babies. One had a tie secured onto its mottled grey-blue carapace, and the other had fake eyelashes and a bright green wig perched precariously on top of its ‘head’.The baby space-crabs—their parents in miniature, each wearing a tiny diaper—were swarming over a bowl the size of a bathtub. Inside, floating in a neon-pink broth and noodles as thick as her index finger, was what looked like a space-whale’s fin. Or some replicator goop reshaped to look like a space-whale’s fin (that was thanks to the wonders of space-technology, or so Comet would probably say.)Whatever the case was, the sight brought back bad memories of the time Souly had, after drinking way too much soda, stayed up late watching a documentary about deep ocean scavengers eating the body of a whale that had ended up on the sea floor.It was not, to say the least, a pleasant memory, and Souly felt more than a little faint as she glanced towards Comet.“I’m not really game for noodles tonight...”Comet seemed completely ignorant of her distress and frowned.“Why not? They have great ramen. Goes great with the space-gyoza.”“Why do you say space-gyoza, but not ramen?” Souly, still sounding a little faint, latched onto the first topic that could possibly take her mind off her remembered nausea, and of the space-crabs enjoying their meal right in front of her.“Eh, it’s something you earth transplants won’t get.” Comet shook his head.“You’re so annoying…” Souly had heard that time and time again, and it never got any less irritating to hear.In response, Comet quirked one little eyebrow.“Might as well be my middle name.”He allowed himself to smirk a little. “Now, are we eating here? If not, you might wanna get out of the way. You’re blocking the entrance.”
Souly assented and as she walked away, arrived right back at square one.“Yeah, okay. I kinda want burgers instead…”“Then we’re in luck.” Comet moved to her other shoulder, one little paw pointing away from the ramen bar.“Look over there, four o’clock. Looks like there’s something new at our favorite fast-food chain…”“Look at what?” Souly turned around.Past the ramen restaurant was an AstroBuns. Souly’s instinctive reaction was one of annoyance; she had taken hundreds of orders from here before, or that’s how it felt, anyways. Black Hole Burgers and Nebula Shakes and all the rest, courtesy of Uchuu Eats; at the heart of it all it was that same low-cost high-calorie goodness from back home… and yet it wasn’t.Like all the other restaurants she’d seen, it was done up in the same gaudy green-pink color scheme that heralded the megacorporation’s presence in even their little part of the galaxy.“One Quadrillion Meals Served” or so the slogan went.“They’ve got a new promo.” Souly turned around and—yes, there it was, a poster hung up by the entrance, with the unmistakable rocket-and-burger logo of AstroBuns printed in one corner.Souly’s eyes widened as she got a better look at the thing.“This is crazy!” Souly began to read off the poster. “Earth-style burgers and fries, limited time only?”Her eyes practically lit up at the sight, scanning the ingredients list that were proudly proclaimed on the poster. Brioche buns, real potatoes, 100% real beef from cows abducted straight from New Zealand!?
She could barely contain her excitement, her malaise and discomfort forgotten in a flash.“Oh man, it’s been too long since I’ve had Earth food!”From her shoulder, Comet scoffed.“I’d say I’m glad to hear it, but who gets worked up over fast space-food…?”Souly jabbed him in the stomach with an index finger. Not too hard, of course, but she’d been putting up with his nonsense all day!“Ow! Hey!”She met Comet’s look of indignant fury with one of righteousness.“Maybe these people still have a sense of joy in their lives, you ever consider that?”“What’s there to be joyful about?”Still rubbing his stomach, the space-ferret winced. When Souly, who was still poring over the poster, made his question a rhetorical one, he tried to put on a look of unamused detachment, as if he hadn’t been poked by an Earthling twenty times his size. “Do they not have fast space-food on Earth?”That was enough to get her attention, and Souly looked back with a look of annoyance.
“Ugh, of course they do! They just call it fast food there, though.” She turned back to the poster to read through the final set of details—nearly every inch of it was covered in text—but then her expression crumbled into one of quickly growing despair.“Wait a minute… one thousand woolongs for the combo meal? This is space highway robbery!”“It’s highway space-robbery, actually.” Comet chuckled in his gruff voice as Souly fumed (mostly) at being corrected.“We’d be better off going to a convenience store and getting whatever crap they have for the evening markdowns. It’s just as tasty, don’t let the nay-sayers get into your head. They’re also doing a promo on beer, too, so…”“Ugh, you and your beer. You don’t get it, Comet!” Souly was this close to stamping her feet, but she knew better than to cause a scene…“I’m sick and tired of eating space-burgers with space-fries! The texture’s really weird, and everything is salty when it should be sweet, and sweet when it should be salty…”She paused, realizing something. “The soda you guys have over here is pretty good, though. I’ll give you guys that.”“Don’t thank me when the space-cavities rot your teeth outta that thick skull of yours.”Souly chuckled at that, but rather than looking all smug, he raised an eyebrow. “Not a fan of space-burgers, huh? Why only say it now? We eat at AstroBuns all the time.”She shook her head.“That’s what I’m trying to say. I wouldn’t go there if there wasn’t something I liked about the food there, but their burgers really don’t hold a candle to the ones I had… well, back home. It’s just a shame that they’re so expensive.”“Guess it’s the convenience store for us.” Comet nodded. “It’s that or the ramen.”Souly, already irritated at Comet making the decision for them (despite the fact that she’d asked him about dinner in the first place) pulled a face, remembering the sight of a hundred little crabs crawling over a hunk of space-whale meat.“I’ll pass.”

• ch 3

• Location

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at an apartment building in a neighboring asteroid. Souly parked her space-scooter in the usual spot, locked it up, and climbed up three flights of stairs (she quietly thanked the low gravity that was standard for this part of town) to their doorstep.With a jingle of the keys, she unlocked the door. She stared into the darkened doorway for a second, before stepping over the threshold, flicking the switch on, and locking the door behind her.“I’m home.”Comet hopped off Souly’s shoulder, landing neatly on a shelf overlooking the entrance hall. He reached into his fur and pulled out a little set of keys and put them in a little ferret-sized key bowl on the shelf, then glanced back at her.“Welcome home.” She watched him scamper off to ‘his side’ of the apartment, marked by the small collection of beer cans, a Comet-sized flatscreen television, and piles of unopened space-mail.Back home, Souly would have called this a 1DK apartment—one room was a dining/living room setup, and the other was a kitchen-dining room combo, with a unit bathroom to round it all out. It wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot, but the rent was acceptable for her salary, and so it was home.Souly set the plastic bag on the table (which took her just about five steps from kicking off her shoes at the threshold) and, after taking a seat, began to pull out the various foodstuffs they had bought for dinner.Burritos, chips, soda, space-beer for Comet, and some ice cream for her that went straight to the freezer—it was everything a growing Uchuu Eats driver needed to ply the space-lanes day in and day out.Souly then began to wind down with her evening routine. A quick shower (she went first, to Comet’s eternal annoyance, no matter how many times Souly complained about hair getting stuck in the drain and leaving her to fish it out) and a fresh set of clothes went a long way to letting her feel a little like a human again.“Megapeppers and Space-Cheddar.” Comet nodded with satisfaction as he examined the steaming burrito sitting on his plate.“The classics never fail me. Hey, Souly, while you’re at the fridge, pass me my space-beer, will ya?”Souly, bringing her own plate from the kitchenette, paused long enough to fulfill her partner’s request. It was a full-sized can, nearly as tall as he was when he was standing up.“I still don’t get how you can drink all of that, and that’s after your burrito.” Souly opened a bag of space-cucumber and sour cream chips and poured it onto a plate beside a burrito of her own. “Your stomach can’t be that big, can it?”“Weren’t you ever told it’s rude to ask a fella about his drinking habits?”“No…?”Comet shook his head. “Well, someone should’ve. It’s rude.”Souly snorted, despite herself. “Jeez, I was just asking.”After the meal, with the wrappers bagged up and ready to be dumped in the trash cans outside, Souly enjoyed the quiet evening by thinking. She was thinking about the burger again—when was the last time she’d had a proper Earth burger? She racked her mind for it… yes, it must’ve been that time, right before she quit her last job, and before she’d thrown her dream away.The thought of it was, as always, painful. She imagined seeing it from the outside once more: the bright lights, the outfits, the crowds, the glitz and the glam that was promised if she could only make it out there… then, more importantly, there was the fun she wanted to have and the friends she wanted to make—on its heels was the disappointment, the crashing back down to reality when hope withered away before she even began.Yes, that had been it. Disappointment. Failure. All that energy and time spent, to come up squat, without ever having that ‘lucky break’. Souly thought of the outfits she’d thrown away, the scripts and the demo videos torn up and deleted. When she had stopped lying to herself that night, she eventually ended up at a burger joint at 2 AM in the morning. She had sat in the stall of a restaurant that wasn’t at all that different from AstroBuns, and had stared down at a burger set meal when she decided to throw in the towel.Souly looked up, and saw Comet lying on the dining table, rubbing his belly contentedly as he read the label on the side of the newest addition to his beer can collection. He seemed completely unaware of her internal strife, and a part of her was glad for it. She did, however, have to say something. So she spoke, not really understanding exactly what was prompting her to even say this, to Comet of all people. Later on, she would remark, she simply needed to say something.Anything.“Next time I get some more woolongs, I’m gonna go back there and try that special deal.”He didn’t respond at first, and Souly pretended to act like that it didn’t bother her.“It’s one week only… dang, I really gotta hustle.”“Still going on about that space burger?” Comet looked up from his beer can. “Jeez, talk about a one track mind.”That stung Souly quite a bit. She shot up from her chair, nearly knocking Comet off the table in the process.“It’s not just about the burger!”“Then what is it?” Comet recovered gracefully to stare up at her with a quizzical look on his face.“Is this some kinda messed up Earth symbolism I’m not pickin’ up on?”“It’s… you wouldn’t understand.”“Let me give you some advice.” He began, speaking slowly. Souly gritted her teeth as she heard that familiar tone.Whenever Comet got insufferably smug he put on this ‘grown-up’ voice, acting all wise and world-weary. Most of the time, sure, it was just to correct her on space-etiquette and affixing the word space- to every other little word, but whenever it came to personal life stuff… it so out of character for a slob like him.The hypocrisy on top of the patronizing tone… it was enough to drive her insane!That same feeling, spurred on by the bad memory and the realization that Comet probably wasn’t going to listen to her, rose up like bile in her throat and so she cut him off before he could continue.“No, let me give you some advice. You should take whatever you were gonna say and shove it up your little hairy butt!”Comet looked visibly taken aback, but Souly went on. “It’s easy for you to lie in your little depression pit and act like you’re better than everyone else because you don’t even bother to try, but…”She was beginning to lose steam but felt determined to have her say, before Comet could ruin everything with his pessimism and his useless remarks.“Tomorrow, I’m gonna get out there and I’m gonna grind my ass off and I’m gonna get that burger! You can stay here and rot for all I care!” She stormed off into her bedroom, throwing the sliding door shut behind her. It slammed shut with a bang, and Comet found himself alone in the dining room.“Yeesh. Short-tempered as always.” When there was no reply, he rolled his eyes to high heaven. “Space-Jesus, give me strength…”

• ch 4

• Location

The next day passed in a blur.Order after order came flying in—her little space-scooter taking her from asteroid to asteroid, picking up orders here and dropping them off there, coordinating with cashiers and waiters and clueless customers as fast as humanly possible.It was already hard to be an Uchuu Eats driver on the best of days, especially when she didn’t have a spaceship of her own or at least an orbital shuttle-sedan. After she’d lost her ship, Souly had make do with a hover-scooter. When she bought it, she thought it was the cutest thing ever—like a Vespa, only from a thousand years in the future!As true as that was, it was as underpowered as personal craft went. In fact, it was just a hair away from being illegal to ride on space-roads because of its engine; it was barely powerful enough to break free from the artificial gravity on each of the little asteroids that made up the little city.Comet wasn’t helping much. He became surly and quiet but kept up his side of the partnership. He held onto Souly’s phone, checking the Uchuu Eats app and guiding her from one destination to the next. Whenever he spoke, he kept the side comments to a minimum.
Their lunch break—twenty minutes parked on top of a space-taco truck, eating an order that some other Uchuu driver had never picked up and that they had bought on a discount—had felt extremely uncomfortable as neither party wanted to say anything, to break the silence first.Afterwards, when Souly insisted on piling on the orders, he shrugged and did as she asked. There had been a time, not so long ago, when she would’ve found his lack of color commentary to be a relief, but now… after last night, it felt wrong. Unfortunately for Souly, she had worse things to worry about than her partner suddenly clamming up. It wasn’t often when she messed up an order, but she was human, and that meant she was fallible. It was just her luck, then, that she ran into a real jackass of a customer who refused to show even a mote of understanding.She had stood there on his doorstep for what felt like an hour as he chewed her out—cussing and yelling at her for picking up the wrong food. In retrospect, it couldn’t have been more than a minute or two, but it was hard to imagine otherwise.“Sorry, sorry!” Souly squeaked out as her customer—a large, craggy guy with a beard made out of crystals—waved a oily paper bag in her face. “I’m so sorry sir!”She bowed deeply, screwing her eyes shut—she had no idea what to do aside from that.That worked, at least a little bit.When she raised herself up, the guy seemed a little mollified. He shoved the bag right in her face, barely giving Souly enough time to snatch it up before it fell onto the floor.“Look, I’m not paying for this.” He seemed to take the fact that Souly had received the bag as permission—but for what? “Can you give me a refund?”Souly felt a pang of panic racked her brains for the script she’d been given (or, more precisely, the script that she’d read out of the Uchuu Eats delivery person handbook) for situations like this.“Uh, I’m really sorry to hear that… if you have any concerns, please use the support center on your Uchuu Eats app…”“But what do I do about this in the meantime?” He was getting angry again.“And what about my money? Am I supposed to go fucking hungry? C’mon, you’re an Uchuu Eats driver! Isn’t this your job!?”“I… ah…” Her words caught in her throat and refused to come out.Comet jumped up in a flash of white fur, standing on top of Souly’s head so he could look at the irate customer right in the eyes.“Boss, just take it for now. Give it away, throw it in the trash, feed it to the space-pigeons, whatever.”Comet spoke in a no-nonsense, businesslike way. It was probably the first time Souly had ever seen him act like that before…“She can’t take it back, and she’s not going to refund it.”Comet raised a paw to cut off the angry alien before he could start shouting again.“Check the damn app, go whine at a customer service rep instead. That’s Uchuu Eats’ problem, not hers. Okay?”The angry customer was finally at a loss for words. He stared at Comet, then at Souly, then back at Comet.“Whatever. Don’t blame me when I give you a shit rating…” The alien had the grace to look a little embarrassed as he averted his gaze and retreated back behind his door.Feeling a little dazed at the sudden silence, Souly stumbled away from the doorstep, and back into the alley where she had parked her space scooter. Comet crawled back to her shoulder, and spoke carefully, as if to not upset her.“Maybe it’s time you take a break.”“No… did you hear him? He’s gonna tank my rating… so I gotta make more deliveries.” She felt it in her chest, the exhaustion and the fear and the bad memories balling up like a fist clenched around her heart. “Look, I can drop you off back at the apartment if you want…”Comet stared at her in consternation.“Why are you running yourself ragged so much, Souly?”Souly’s eyes stung, and she hated herself for it. Not here, not now…! Not in front of him!Her prayers went unanswered, and Souly hated herself for every hot tear that ran down her cheeks and dripped onto the floor.She bravely ignored them, doing her best to act like nothing was wrong.“I don’t need to explain myself to a walking dishrag like you.”Comet remained silent. He didn’t throw a jab back her way, nor did he roll his eyes and mutter about ‘kids these days’. He simply looked at her, his expression neutral, in a way that Souly knew meant that he wouldn’t take that for an answer.
The two of them looked at each other. Earthling and space ferret. One crying, the other lost for words, and the silence that was stretching out in between them like the vast gulfs of the interstellar void.For a minute or so they stood there, before Souly slumped down to the ground, leaning against her space-scooter. She listened to the sound of distant traffic and felt the way her eyes continued to sting—God, she probably looked like a total mess!—as she gathered her thoughts.“It was… back home.” A pause. “Before.” Comet nodded.“Back on Earth.”“Yeah. When I was trying to do what I thought,” She paused. It was still too hard to say the exact words—to talk about trying to be an idol, dreaming of standing on that stage in front of the crowd, the endless auditions that chipped away at that dream until all that was left was that hole in her chest—and so she remained light on the specifics.“What I thought I was going to dedicate my life to… it was hard, y’know? I worked my butt off doing all the prep work, showing up for auditions, trying to network and make contacts and all that, but I…” She paused, cutting off the words that she knew would make her cry even more.“I never even got off the ground.”Comet was silent, and Souly took his silence as an invitation to continue.“But, uh, in the middle of all that, there was something I liked to do. I always made sure to celebrate the little wins, like, to motivate myself, you know? Whenever I made it past the first round of interviews, or got called back for a second audition, or touched up everything I’d need for a new application or a new tryout, I’d go and get myself a burger meal.”
Souly felt a pang of embarrassment at the admission but kept talking.“Nothing crazy, just something full of carbs and sugar to fill up the tank after a big day.” Souly felt hot burning shame as she wiped her tears, even as she kept her face turned away from Comet.“But, uh, when I decided to go out here, you know, into the big ol’ galaxy, I made the decision at a burger place like that. I’d just… gotten rejected. For what felt like the hundredth time, but I decided to treat myself anyways, even if I didn’t earn it.” Souly wondered when that whole idea of ‘earning’ a bit of fun came into the picture. It must have crept in at some point, but now the feeling seemed more familiar than she was comfortable with. “Instead of a reward for hard work done, it started turning into a consolation after all that effort seemed to not pay off.”Embarrassing, it was so embarrassing, but she had to keep talking. Comet was silent, at the very least, she could thank space-God or whoever for that.“I decided to give up, in one of those places. To… change tracks, I guess you’d call it, but the giving up is still implied. So, when I saw that promo for Earth burgers… it brought back a lot of memories. Yeah, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do something, but also to live up to those memories, and of home… I don’t even know.” She sniffled, an ugly gross sound that made her hate herself even more acutely as soon as she heard it.“Yeah. I made myself cry over a burger and some old fuckups from the past. There. Now you can laugh.” Souly waited for his laughter. Instead of the high-pitched chittering noise, she felt a gentle tap on her cheek.She turned and saw Comet offering her a napkin.After staring at it for several moments, Souly took the peace offering for what it was and began to wipe away the snot and the tears. Comet retreated from her shoulder and sat down beside her on the asphalt. The silence returned, but it was different this time. The nervous energy had bled away somewhat, and Comet was now chipping away at it, pawing at it with his words.“Souly… what you said about missing home.” Comet paused, genuinely weighing his words.“I get it.” Comet looked visibly uncomfortable with the sudden bout of emotional honesty, but he continued. “Not in the exact same way, but I do. Not gonna try and one-up you on the whole emotional trauma thing, and I’ll spare you the gory details, but I think I know where you’re coming from.”Comet looked up at Souly, and to his credit, he looked genuinely sincere as he looked up at her.“When you get to my age, you collect your fair share of fuck ups and regrets and, not to brag, but I think I have made quite a few. So… yeah.”He shrugged.“You’re right. I like to mope and to just coast along. But you tried. You did something. That’s worth… that’s worth something.” Comet winced at his awkward words, and patted Souly on the shoulder with a tiny paw.“And I’m your partner. So we’re in this together.”Souly found herself speaking up in Comet’s defense. “I didn’t really tell you what this was all about, though.” She winced a little. “It’s my baggage… and if you’re my partner, that means we could be a little honest with each other.”“Sure, you’re right, but… well, you tried when I was content to just laze about. That’s worth celebrating, I think. Even if you ran yourself ragged like a crazy person. I mean, we still have a couple of days left before the promo ends…” Comet waved a paw dismissively. “Ah, what the hell am I talking about.”In a single leap, Comet jumped back into his place on Souly’s shoulders.“C’mon, get up before you get all that dirt on your jacket.”Souly stood up, and sniffed loudly. Her eyes stung and her nose was going to be clogged for a while, but it was like a heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders.“Thanks, Comet.”“Stop being mushy, Souly… and let’s get you that burger.”

• last

• Location

After everything that happened, the rest of the evening was almost anticlimactic; they went to the mall late in the evening to avoid the dinner rush, lined up at AstroBuns, placed their order, and got their food when they were called.The restaurant was mostly empty at the time, but they found one of their usual spots anyways—a corner near the door, tucked away from the entrance for a modicum of privacy.“Why’s it called the Amazon Burger?”“Who knows? People don’t really read the space news all that much. And Earth’s a page eight story in the space-papers, and that’s on a good day.”“You’re not really helping with the homesickness thing.” Souly spoke drily, but without any of her prior angst—letting out her feelings had really helped, even if she was still a little mortified at being seen.“Just calling it how it is.” Comet raised his little paws. Souly snorted, then looked back to her tray. She tapped the waxy paper on her space-burger, listening to the sound of it.“Well, someone in Astrobuns’ marketing department thought about it enough that they wanted to do a promo based on it.” She glanced back at her partner: he was frowning, his little brows furrowed… Souly would rather die than say it out loud, but she thought it was kinda cute.“Wait… isn’t that an Earthling region?”“Oh. Yeah. It’s a jungle.” Souly was a little surprised that Comet knew basically anything about Earth, so she let him continue. The little space ferret nodded in satisfaction.“Yeah, I remember now. There was a documentary a while back, on Spaceflicks, about the galaxy’s most dangerous places. I’m pretty sure that they talked about the Amazon jungle for a bit. It was kind of a meme for a while… lotta folks out here never knew that a jungle could be green. Guess Astrobuns’s corporate office finally approved the promo.” He sneered. “That’s corpos for you, waiting for the head office’s permission before they so much as fart.”“Wait, wait, wait, why didn’t you tell me about this?” Souly gasped, ignoring what was surely the beginning of Comet’s screed against big corporations—that would inevitably just be him being all pessimistic. “People here never talk about Earth! I would’ve loved to see someone over here talk about anything from back home, you know!!!”“I tried, but you were too busy fiddling with your space phone to listen to me.” Comet’s voice was remarkably heated, as he started gesticulating with sharp movements of his little paws. “There’s nothing harder than trying to get one of you kids to pry yourself from your screens.”“Don’t you spend, like, the entire day just watching TV? At least I have other hobbies.”“It’s different. Big screen, little screen.” Comet emphasized the size difference with his paws. “And I can stop whenever I want.”“I’ve heard that one before… and it’s not like I’m just doomscrolling social media all the time.” Souly paused. “Still trying to wrap my head around the GPS. I can’t always rely on you navigating for me.”“Eh, that’s not what we call it.” Comet shrugged. “You’re thinking of SPS… Space positioning system.”“Okay, whatever…” Souly waved off the correction with one hand. “Look, our food’s gonna get cold. Let’s just eat already.” Despite her words, Souly stared down at her meal, watching the steam drift up in curling wisps and dissipating into the air.“What’s the matter now, Souly? You nervous or something?”“Hahah, no…” She flushed a little as she unwrapped the burger.“Well, let me do the honors then.” Souly could have imagined a note of genuine gratitude in Comet’s tone, but it was hard enough as it is. “Thank you for the meal.”It was always funny to watch Comet eat human (alien?) sized food, but he managed well enough, biting off one of his space-chicken nuggets before scampering up extra-large soda to draw in great big mouthfuls from the straw. Souly was not so young as to be disappointed when some promo meal item didn’t look anything like the posters, and so she was rather impressed when she held the burger in hand.It wasn’t that bad anyways. It looked like an ordinary, if large, burger. Everything else checked out, too. The bun was soft beneath her fingers, and she could smell the beef. It brought back all those memories that had haunted her days ago, but now… she could look back on them with a little less sadness in her heart.So, with that thought buoying her, Souly took a bite of the Amazon Burger, chewed, and then swallowed. She stared at it for a moment, studied the bite mark she’d left behind, tracing the indentations of her teeth like tea leaves at the bottom of her cup.“Well?” Comet was watching her closely, waiting for her response. He had even set down his nuggets to watch her eat.Souly smiled.“It’s kinda garbage.”Comet frowned a little.“Should we get a refund?”“Nah… there’s no need for that.” She laughed off his concern, then shrugged. “Maybe this is just how people over here imagine an Earthling burger. Or maybe it’s actually as good as the ones back home, but I’ve been out here for so long that all this alien food has ruined my tastebuds.”“Oh. Well… that’s good, I guess.”There was a pause that stretched out between them, and it could almost have been called friendly.Before Souly could break the silence, however, Comet suddenly pounced on her tray.
“Gimme some of them fries, woman.”“Hey!” Souly tried to swat Comet away, but he dodged her with contemptuous ease. When he made his way to the other side of the table, she satisfied herself with placing one arm around her tray protectively, while grasping at her napkins and condiments with the other.
“Didn’t I already tell you…? You should have ordered your own fries!”“Being nice all day is really calorically intense, kid, and I wasn’t expecting to put in all that effort.” Comet dodged a ketchup packet that Souly had aimed right for his smug little face. “When all’s said and done, you can’t deny that I’ve earned those fries!”Souly cried out plaintively as she threw another ketchup packet at Comet, and then another.“You really are the worst!”

• the end